December Conspiracy

Changing emotions is one of the human abilities less utilized. Before, the emotional life was believed to be beyond our control and we were considered as its passive victims. Now it is known that we have the prerogative of making feelings work on our behalf. The December conspiracy is living proof of it.

Let us ask ourselves why this season people feel and act differently. While analyzing how the "spirit of December" is achieved we will notice the influence of individuals themselves. The month incites a kind of positive conspiracy to let the best of ourselves out. People make arrangements to have fun, a strategy that produces results, with most looking happier than normal.

This is a good example of the power of building a desired emotional state. If we are committed, we can rebel against sorrows, despair, resentments, frustrations and bitterness, and transform them into peace, love and joy. But how is it possible to "ignore" the problems and negative realities of life? The answer is simple, the problems are there, but perception and attitude are something else. Logically, a positive posture will bring out more strengths to face the challenges of existence...

In conclusion, unlike animals, humans have the power to modify affectivity. Achieving it is relatively easy. Exercising this attribute requires decision, concentration and effort. Feelings are a result of a combination of variables that could be manipulated. Changes in cognition, circumstances and behaviors always alter what we feel. Avoiding negative thoughts and developing a joyful mindset is first in the agenda. Then we have to propitiate the occasion, choosing the place and date to be happy. Subsequently, activities that foster enjoyment are to follow.

Some might think that December is different for its festivities. Let's see. There are three kinds of Christmas.

1. The visual Christmas. It is represented in the ornaments inside and outside the houses.

2. Christmas as a family, with home celebrations.

3. Christian Christmas, with its religious rituals. For many this one is the real one, due to the commemoration of the birth of our savior.

All these forms, especially the first and second, do not happen artificially and are "man-made". The Christmas season does not exist by itself. The emotional product of how one feels in this period is the result of the actions taken.

Being different and doing special things is like a sign of a massive confabulation to be happy. Many send love messages or cards to family and friends, buy presents, mount a tree, decorate the house and prepare special meals. It is as if the community gave an order: "December is a month to celebrate." We all follow that mandate, thus confirming that the power of feeling-creation is inherent in the human race. The question is: Can this be done in other months of the year? The answer is "of course."

Using the same level of energy moments full of joy could be constructed on other days. In fact, many do it in local or family festivities. Nevertheless, it is not necessary to have the pretext of a holiday, a birthday or an anniversary. We have the privilege of saying, for example: "In this house we are going to enjoy ourselves on Tuesdays and Saturdays." It is only a matter of following the order and making it a reality.

An important clarification. Spending money to create a good mood is not always imperative. One can learn to enjoy the simple things of life and achieve happiness without money. For example, saying nice words, telling stories, walking or dancing together, and many other behaviors that do not cost a dollar could produce rewarding feelings.

Here are some ideas for building blissful spaces in any month of the year: 1. Choose a day and convince someone to have a good time together. 2. Make the decision not to go more than seven days without enjoyment. 3. Make up something, a ritual or a game to have fun. 4. Postpone concerns and dedicate yourself to having fun at those times. 5. Let yourself be carried away by joy and try to infect others. 6. Smile as much as you can. 7. Sing even if you do not know how to sing and dance even if you do not know how to dance. 8. Spend time talking about enjoyable experiences you've had.

Try to follow these tips. You will not regret it. And maybe you can solve your problems, enjoy a better health and live many more years.

By Ramón Rojano, PhD, MFT, MPH, CPC

rojanophd@gmail.com

www.ramonrojano.com